No Compromise. What does that mean?
A compromise (noun) is defined as “a settlement of differences by mutual concessions” according to dictionary.com. The verb form is defined as “to make a compromise” or “to make a dishonorable or shameful concession.”
There are some places in life where compromise is not only a good thing, but a necessary thing. For example, in a relationship with another human being we are often required to compromise. Compromise usually means giving something up, and often giving up something you care deeply about. In the context of a relationship, compromise is helpful and key to growing in a relationship.
However when I declare No Compromise, I mean unyielding; absolute, as believing in or adhering to a principle, position, or the like (also dictionary.com). I remember 20+ years ago, committing to a dear friend that we both would be women of No Compromise.
Contextually, following broken marriages, we were 2 single women, each with 2 very young boys. As Christian women, we knew that our commitment to Christ needed to be stronger than any pull to be accepted by the world – and this, of course, included men.
Alone
Frequently people move into a new relationship long before they are ready. Too often that is because perceived rejection and the pain of being alone become hard to bear.
We think, consciously or subconsciously, it is much better to be with someone, anyone, than it is to be alone. At least that is how we behave. If you think about it, you know it doesn’t really make much sense, but you just can’t bear to be alone.
Well, I too have been in that place. Alone. No one who understands your trouble. No one who understands your pain.
But being alone can be a problem because it allows us to easily ignore our glaring issues. When we withdraw from people, it’s much easier to behave in ways that are less than honorable and often downright harmful.
On the other hand, filling your aloneness with the wrong people can be just as bad. I’m sure every one of us can think of someone we know who went through a bad breakup and then ended up in a bad relationship with someone they never should have been with in the first place!
Created for Relationship
Escaping Aloneness is a natural desire. As human beings, we were created for relationship – relationship with God and relationships with other human beings.
So during my season of Alone, my friend and I made a pact of sorts. We decided we would be women of No Compromise.
Here’s what No Compromise meant to us: We committed to spur each other on to live a life that is consistent with how God’s Word, the Bible, tells us to live. During this particular stage of my life, this greatly impacted how we conducted ourselves with men and with our money.
As I look back, I cherish those tough years because it set up a strong foundation in my life. I learned to be obedient even when I didn’t fully understand. I learned to rely upon friends to help me when I felt weak or discouraged. I learned to trust God with all things especially when things didn’t make sense.
Compromise vs. Character
Compromise can be easy. Just do the easiest thing – the thing with the least friction. But this kind of compromise isn’t going to develop character. It takes lots of friction to develop character.
If you think about it, you will not likely describe a person of compromise as a person of character. Those two descriptive words just cannot define the same person.
To my dear friend who shared this season with me (you know who you are), I don’t regret a single one of those hard decisions we made time after time. I don’t regret noticing the odd looks and comments people would sometimes give us because our decisions seemed unnatural to them.
Becoming a person of No Compromise can be applied in many different ways. In my life, it always refers to my desire to be wholly committed and submitted to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Other examples might include compromising your integrity in the workplace, compromising your health with poor dietary habits, or compromising a marital relationship by engaging inappropriately with someone of the opposite sex.
So where are you compromising in your life? Are you willing to take a fresh look and make some changes?
3 Steps to No Compromise
Here are 3 steps toward becoming a person of No Compromise:
Be honest. Be honest about your struggle, your failures, and yes I dare say your weakness. I hate weakness by the way. Admitting weakness is one of the hardest things for me to do. (I can admit I’m wrong, but please don’t make me see that I am weak!)
Find a buddy. This can be difficult because we all know that person who can be our “buddy,” but we aren’t actually going to listen to anything he/she says. This buddy is best to be someone who is aligned similarly. For example, someone who seeks to be sexually pure would probably not “buddy up” with a friend who is living with her beau. Find someone who feels as strongly about your areas of No Compromise as you do.
Stay Focused. Being a person of No Compromise is not for the faint of heart. Like pretty much everything worthwhile, you must be intentional here. Remind yourself regularly. Why do you want to be a person of No Compromise? What value exists for you? Think about the character being developed within you. There will come a day when you look back and are simply grateful for the growth and character that came as a result.
A Strong Foundation
I am so grateful for a special friend to walk alongside me during this really difficult season in my life – a friend who consistently challenged me to stick to our commitment of No Compromise. I am also grateful for the lessons learned.
I learned how to make hard decisions.
I invited others to bear my burden and enter into my personal challenges.
I leaned on my faith in God in a deeper way.
All these things led to a foundation that has served me well for the past 20 years. All things have not been perfect, and I don’t expect they ever will. But because I learned how to make hard decisions and to lean on others and God in the midst of challenges, I am able to maintain my commitment to be a person of No Compromise. You can too.